I have a coupla comedians around here today.
One meant to be funny, I think. The other didn’t but was funny anyway…
Both of them got treats because I’m a pushover.
I brought Tess in today because she is 22 and needs more attention these days than the youngsters.
I had planned on grooming her and taking care of all her ‘older mare’ needs that she’d rather the other horses didn’t see. After all, she is lead mare and I know she is not ready to give up her poll position. We have an agreement that her age ailments are our little secret.
Anyway, I put a halter on her and fake-tied the lead rope around the beam where I always tie her. Our usual routine, for the entire year she suffered from Canker, was to put her in this exact place, give her a bucket of healthy grain, and do the hoof clean and medicate then wrap dance. We did this twice a day for a year. We were a well oiled machine.
But today, I was just grooming her so I tied her and didn’t give her a bucket of grain.
You’d think I slapped her in the face.
At first, she stood there, politely, waiting for me (the slow and ignorant human) to get the bucket of grain. She shifted her weight and stared at the feed room. It was obvious to me that she was trying to get me to go into the grain room and do the right thing.
I didn’t. I went about my business brushing her and fawning over her.
She wasn’t happy. She wanted her grain. So, she started thinking horsey logic.
Hmmm. Being a resourceful mare, she looked around and had an instant idea. The bucket was right there! This will be easy! She nosed the empty bucket hanging in front of her a few times so it clanged against the rails. She was proud of her noisemaking. She turned and then stared right at me.
“Didja hear that? Are you gettin’ my drift here?”
That didn’t work, either.
I could see the wheels in her brain working… “OK, the human is really stoopid today. She needs extra help.”
So, Tess flipped the bucket off of the rail and flew a few feet to land right at my feet. (It was a good toss.)
Tess: “Human, are you DENSE?”
Me: Uh, the was unnecessary.
Tess: “Well, you are not doing what you are supposed to do and I’m just helping jog your memory. You are supposed to put grain in the bucket I just put at your feet.”
Me: Says who?
Me: “Human, get the grain and put it into my bucket, please.”
Me: Not today, Tess, we aren’t wrapping your feet. I’m just grooming you.
Tess: “Uh, no you aren’t. Not without grain. Besides, I said PLEASE.”
Me: Dudn’t matter.
Tess: (pouting and burning a hole in my face with her eyes) “But that is our deal! I stand here nicely as long as I have grain.”
Me: Since when?
Tess: “Since the Canker time; you set a president and I’m old and you are unfair and you are abusing the elderly!”
It was then that I started laughing. She was so earnest in her pleas. It was as if she felt sorry for me for being so ignorant. She was going to help me through this and she was going to try to not get angry.
When I refused, she was appalled that I would not oblige the Queen.
In the end, she won. I couldn’t resist her face or her horsey logic. She is older and she’s a great mare so why not…
Besides, she made me laugh!
Finn is funny all the time. He doesn’t mean to be. He just is.
I have no idea what he thinks or how he comes up with all of his silly antics, but he is truly amusing. He kinda reminds me of Lucille Ball. Whatever he does ends up being funny.
So today, for a reason only he knows, He posed for photos like this:
Now, I’ve never seen him turn his head sideways like that so I started giggling. As I start laughing, he realizes that what he was doing amused me.
So, he did it again!
Now, I’m hysterical. As I’m laughing, he pretends to be really pissed at me. He pins his ears and slits his eyes but he kinda winks at me.
I take another photo.
He finds this really funny so he turns his head sideways again and pushes his nose towards the camera.
By this time, I’m cackling but not giving him the treat he knows I have in my pocket. So, he stops all of his antics and gives me the, “Hey, I’ve made you laugh a few times now. Where’s my treat? C’mon.”
I tell him that if he does it one more time (I wasn’t sure if I had a good shot yet), I’d give him an ENTIRE apple.
He looks at me as if he is excited to rise to the challenge…
“Game On! But you better have that camera ready because I’m gonna pull out all the stops for this one!”
He got the apple.
HORSE AND MAN is a blog in growth… if you like this, please pass it around!
March Drop in the Bucket Fund: THE JUNKYARD 4.
These 4 sad horses were found in miserable condition, 2 pregnant, all starved – yet owned by a hay broker! To learn all about the Bucket Fund and to donate towards the care of The Junkyard 4, please click on the photo (photo credit, Trish Lowe)