Sneaky, Tubby Mares. Sheesh.

In the last coupla days, I have noticed that my mares, who are all together in one pasture, seemed to be rather plump compared to all the other horses here.  Tess is 22, Gwen is 15 and Sam is 8.  So, I have youth, middleage and elder together and they ALL have butterball profiles kinda like Violet Beauregard of Willy Wonka fame (she was the blueberry – I hate when I’m the only one who gets a reference…).


Why are they so, ummm, hearty when the others are just regular?

Tess (22) and Gwen (15) looking very muddy and plump... (Tess is Gwen's dam.)



Well, the mares are in a large 3 acre pasture.  There are only three of them and it has been raining… maybe there is enough grass now to have filled them out and added some, ahem, girth?

But, all the other horses are in large pastures and they aren’t fat portly.  I haven’t given the mares any different feed.  In fact, since it was now getting much colder at night, they should be burning calories, not gaining.

This sudden weight gain was very odd indeed.


I have been pondering this sudden weight gain for a few days.   I had even decreased their morning rations – which was difficult since they are perpetually giving me the “We’re starving” look.

A clue came this morning…   I had to clamber up a hay stack to throw down a few more bales.  (I like to make sure I bring the bales down in a ‘bale created’ step-ladder organized climbing surface so that I never need to teeter on a real ladder stacked against a haypile.  I hate that.  I’d rather climb bales to the top than climb the top of a ladder and push from there.  Yikes.)

Back to the story…

OK, so I was on top of one of the stacks and I turned around to see this:

Huh? How does this happen?


I know the guys didn’t stack the hay that way… Why would they build a tall brick mountain of hay and leave a huge hole against the wall?

And then it all came together for me…

Those dastardly mares had nosed the window open, eaten all the bales within reach, and then closed the window again!


I couldn’t believe what I had deduced so I walked around the barn to see if the window was truly not latched properly and that they could open it with their nubile noses.

Sure enough, it wasn’t latched.

Sure enough, it wasn't latched... easy to nudge open and nudge closed


In fact, there were telltale signs of their break-in…  The barn outer wall was filthy where they were rubbing against it to reach on their tippy-hooves to get inside the window.  The window had teeth marks on it.  The part of the window frame that they pushed closed with their noses was also very dirty.

And, the bales that were missing still had their strings hanging there.

Yup. I see what happened here...



As I stood back there with my camera, Tess walked right up and said, “Wasn’t me.”

Me:  Sure it was

Tess:  Nope.  Can’t even reach that far, see…

Me:  It was you and your sidekicks.  Look, Gwen is just as guilty as you are.

Tess:  Yep, it was her.  Not me.

Gwen:  Mooooooooommmmm!  Don’t blame me for this.  It was YOUR idea.


What? Wuddn't me.


Tess:  OK, it wasn’t Gwen, it was Sam.

Sam (from across the pasture):  Huh?  I know I’m too short.  Look at me!

Gwen:  Well, you ate everything that fell on the ground!


See, I can't even reach that far...


Tess:  OK it was those tricky ponies.  They broke into our pasture and ate the bales.

Gwen (walking away and doing her best Col. Klink impression):  “I know nothink.”

Me:  Um, the ponies are even shorter than you are.  There is no possible way they did this unless they were standing on your backs.

Tess (looking earnest):  Yup.  That is what they did.

Me:  Uh huh.  OK.  If that is what you want me to believe…

Tess:  That is my final statement on the issue.  Oh, and you don’t need to check the other windows as I already did and they are locked.  Just sayin’…

Gwen's wideload walking away... doing her best Clink impression, "I know nothink!".


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HORSE AND MAN is a blog in growth... if you like this, please pass it around!

5 comments have been posted...

  1. Ann

    And I keep hearing people say how stupid horses are….. For a stupid animal, they sure manage to outsmart us all the time. Who’s stupid now?

  2. John

    We have a pig that does exactly the same thing. She will eat a semicircular tunnel into the underside of a bale of alfalfa (not grass) or a spherical cavity into the side of a bag of senior feed mistakenly left sitting by the door for an hour.

    What I don’t get is how your mares ate a flat sided cavity. Usually it curves as their mouths sweep every accessible bit of hay

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