I don’t know about you, but I get oh, probably 3-4 horse themed catalogs a week. Heaven help me at Christmastime! Yeesh! The poor mailman just mutters as he delivers yet another catalog with the millions of things I can purchase either for my horse, about my horse, with a horse on it or something slightly removed from horsedom but they got my address anyway…
So, what do you do with yours? I tend to have a stack under my desk. If I’m going to take a bath, I’ll grab one. Or, if I’m sitting down to breakfast, I might bring one to the table. But, mostly, when I want a break from my nightly two paragraphs of the book I’ve been reading (and re-reading) for the last several years, I take a few with me to bed. For some reason, I can get through a whole catalog whereas a few sentences of my book puts me OUT like a light! Anyway…
I don’t know about your catalog behavior, but mine goes something like this… I dog-ear a few pages for my wish list. Sometimes I circle items if I have a pen. I poke hubby and show him the various ridiculous items and if I’m really excited, I’ll rip out a page which ends up on the floor or under the bed. Most of the time, to be honest, I use them for packing material, as fire starters or as huge Santa style bags for recycling. Still, I do on occasion find items that I really would like… but usually not for their intended use. For some reason, I always find other ways to use horsey products — which is probably why they keep sending catalogs to me.
Because I figure that you get catalogs, too, I decided to share a catalog with you. Truly, they aren’t as fun alone, wouldn’t you agree? If you have someone there with you, you can say, “Hey, have you ever seen this?” or “Gee, does this look like it could work?” and “Ohhhh, my horse would hate me if I made him wear that… Let’s order it!”
Since I’m alone this evening, I think I’ll share my newest catalog with you.
HORSELOVERZ.COM – Winter Sale Catalog ( Yay! I love sales!)
First off, I usually hate it when writerz put a clever spin on something so they can purchase a domain name or whatever. But, I’m going to excuse the cheezy Z application here because they obviously decided to not kick the kids club who owns www.horselovers.com to the curb. I kinda commend them on that. Or, the kids got tough and wouldn’t sell, who knowz…
Anyway, let’s start, shall we? OK, well, I’d like to start but I need photos and the website for horseloverz.com is incredibly, awesomely slooooooow. In fact, I ended up just scanning the catalog pages because it took so long. Not such a great start. And, truth to tell, many of the items in this new catalog were not available or out of stock. This baffles me. Do people get their catalog and sprint up to their computers and order everything instantly? Or, do they just have a warehouse full of onesies of all these items? But why would a company put out a huge full color catalog when most of it is unavailable? I’m wondering if the loss leader thing is in effect here. Dunno. I found it a bit frustrating. However, not so frustrating that I don’t want to continue shopping with you all!
OK, onto my favorite items for several reasons:
1) First up is the Animal Print Nylon Horn Bag: Oh My! There was a whole section of animal print items. I find the juxtaposition of African animal prints on a horse quite unsettling but also goofy in a Disney sort of way. It was so unusual I had to mark it. I picked the horn bag because I was so delighted to see this. I mean, these prints are so contrary yet lovely for the purpose. Do you expect a first aid kit to come outta that? Not me, I picture ciggys and some JD in there, or at least a Snickers bar… It made me smile so it was my first circle of the day!
2) Colored Rubber Bands: Yay! How fun are these handy little items! No more black, I say! I was so thrilled to see these that I actually tried to order them. Sold out. How do you sell out of rubber bands?! Was it too expensive to order enough? Do they take up too much space? C’Mon! I was totally bummed. And, this is when I learned that if horseloverz.com is sold out, they don’t provide the item photo anymore. So, this is why I had to scan this picture. Please excuse my big circle mark but at least you know I’m not kidding when I say that first I circle all the items I want…
3) Hay/Straw Bale Cutter: Now, this item is not expensive so I’m not knocking it. It is just that you can go to the Dollar Store and get a packet of 3 utility knives (in assorted colors) for, well, a dollar. I have one in a pocket of all of my barn coats. I also have a few scattered about and one in the tack room drawer. Cheap utility knives are so easy to find, I always wonder who might buy these custom jobbies. On the other hand, maybe I’m just too cheap to be professional about my hay string cutting… Sometimes I do end up using wire cutters or a hay hook and then I twist and twist… So, I guess real hay bale cutters are a good idea, especially if you don’t have a Dollar Store.
4) Pocket Sweat Scraper: Wouldn’t these make great luggage markers? Look at all the wonderful colors! You could probably find a Sharpie to add your name and address. Gawd, I’m starting to talk like my dearly departed father who never threw out anything. “Heck, that old cottage cheese tub would make a great soup bowl!” But still, they would make great luggage tags or markers… You could stand with confidence at the luggage roundabout. No worries here, I KNOW my luggage. It has the colorful sweat scraper tied to it!
5) Youth Sweat Scraper: I use these to clean out my water troughs. They really work and the smaller ones (Youth sized) are the best for trough de-mucking. See, you can get the regular sized sweat scraper, or you can get the YOUTH sweat scraper since they needed to find another item to sell to us and what is better than something that makes your kids more comfortable. Anyway, the curved corners of the scraper actually help you scrape away the gunk that sticks to the troughs. I love these things. And, you can pick from all these assorted colors! Such a deal!
6) Grabber Groomer Two Pack: This shape just killed me. They all remind me of Lisa Simpson’s hair. I just had to pick these because every time I looked at them I could hear her voice. I’m sure if I bought them, every time I used them I’d hear her voice. After a while it would probably drive me crazy. But for now, I think the image is very amusing!
7) Utility Bag: Wouldn’t this bag be great for your ski boots, hat, gloves and goggles??? Your boots could go in the boot part and your hat, gloves and goggles, which you always drop anyway, could go in the front. Perfect!! Or, let’s say you have to change your shoes for work. You could put your work shoes in here plus your lunch or makeup kit or overnight kit. I like it! I wish it came in all the colors of the sweat scrapers, though.
8) Deluxe Helmet Carrying Bag: This shape is so interesting to me. What could I put in here? A cake? Yarn? Marbles? I just love the shape of this and the sides are soft! Hmmmm, what could I put into the outside pocket?! Ahhh, the possibilities are endless! I guess I could actually get one for its intended use. After all, I usually put my helmet on the flat, upper bunk part of my trailer tack room (what is the technical name for that space where you would sleep if you were shaped like a short triangle?) where it usually rolls around and falls. But, that is what helmets are supposed to do — take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’. Bah Humbug to the bag. I’ll use it for my marble collection!
9) No Bounce Stirrup Strap: If this works, I will bend down and kiss the catalog! I HATE it when my stirrups either knock me in the head as I am adjusting the girth or bang me in my shins as I walk. I know, I know, just throw them over the saddle, right? Well, SHORT PEOPLE have very short leathers and they don’t stay over the saddle. Or, they jab you in the stomach as you carry the saddle. Since none of my saddles have horns, I have no where to put the darn things. I’ve even resorted to adding ties to all of my saddles (or quick clips — good idea, actually) to grab my stirrups when I need them UP. But, this handy device looks very… handy. ;) Y’know, now that I look at it, I think I could use it to keep the divider against the wall in my trailer when I’m not using it (instead of the bungie that is there now). I bet if I purchased this I’d say, “Hey, wait a minute, I coulda made this…”. Whatever. I think it is a good idea.
10) Sport Boot Covers with Fringe and Embroidered Designs: I love these! How Festive! I think everyone should have a pair! I don’t even use sport boots and I would buy these for my horses. Well, I would purchase these but yet again, horseloverz is totally sold out. How could that be?? There are a bunch of styles here. They are ALL sold out? I have never, ever seen these on the trail yet there are none to be found anywhere. Hmmmmm. I’m guessing they may be big on the barrel racing or rodeo circuit. Dunno. But, I think we should start a trend. I think designers should come out with new designs. I think Prada, Chanel, Max Mara, Armani, Dior, Guess and even the bejeweled David Yurman versions. Yay!! I’m in!
11) Chain Action Boots: Uhhhh, don’t I see these on every neck, ankle or wrist of every teenager in the mall? I cannot look at these and not think Emo. I would not be able to get the mall image out of my mind if I saw these on my horses. (Although my young mare Hayley would fit right into the mall, fer sure…) I’m guessing my other horses would roll their eyes on this one. Anyway, I think I would love the sound that they make, for a while anyway. These could be the Goth version of rhythm beads!
12) Spandex Helmet Cover-Ups: Usually, anything with Spandex kinda makes me go the other way. But, these look like they could be a very popular fashion statement for us helmet wearers. Unfortunately, when I went to the horseloverz website to grab the picture, they only had the drab four colors left: black, brown, grey and tan. Ugh. Bummer.
13) Magic Pimple Grip Gloves: (Excuse me while I catch my breath, tee hee…) I love the name! Am I juvenile or what?! I want to give these to my teenage daughter but I don’t think she would get the humor. All kidding aside, any glove that is magic would have to be a best seller! I would love for my fingers and hands to have the magic touch! I guess that is why they are, again, sold out of every size and color.
14) Last but not least, Elastic Pant Clips: Well, I don’t need these for my riding pants because they are already too tight around my ankles. But, these are GREAT for keeping your sheet corners down. Do you know what I mean? They work as little sheet corner garters for your fitted sheets. You see, we have a lovely memory foam mattress top that reshapes often. And, for some reason, my corner of the fitted sheet always pops off. It is so irritating. I got these to clip the sheet corners down and they work perfectly!
So, thank you for skipping delightfully through the Horseloverz.com Winter sale catalog with me. It was fun!
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