Due to a miscommunication between myself and Michael Johnson, I have (luckily) been sent three extra signed HEALING SHINE books!
Of course, I told Michael of the error and he graciously told me to ‘SELL ‘EM’ for the Bucket Fund.
I know that many of you wanted this fabulous book… so here is another chance. There are 3 available. If the link takes you to the Bucket Fund page, that means that these 3 books are gone.
However, if they are all sold out, you can always purchase your own copy at Michael’s website.
I NEED A HOTLINE FOR CARETAKERS OF CHRONICALLY ILL HORSES.
I’m guessing that many of you know what it is like to take care of a chronically ill person or horse.
I have great empathy for your plight.
Taking care of a sick person/beloved pet is very stressful. Ups and Downs. Highs and Lows.
For me, I have a good day if Tess is having a good day.
But then again, I always pretend I’m having a good day – for her sake. Sometimes that is the most difficult thing…
Daily, I tell her how beautiful she is and how strong she is and how she has the ability to heal herself – even if I am not believing it.
Sometimes I have to go back into the house and give myself a pep talk.
TODAY, I LOST IT.
Tess keeps me strong. She is such a trooper. Every day, she keeps on fighting.
But, yesterday, after 5 rounds of maggots, she was fatigued.
She didn’t want me to touch her foot. She was pissy and unhappy and had pinny ears.
OK… I can deal with a bad day…
But, when I went to the barn this morning, she was still down. I approached her and she had that same expression.
My heart sunk.
Is this the day she quits? I could feel my emotions welling inside me.
I kept telling myself that people who are ill have bad days and they sometimes treat their caretakers very badly.
She was treating me badly.
I wasn’t sure what to do. I felt helpless and fearful.
I had to get a handle on my emotions.
I FELL APART IN HUBBY’S ARMS
The pain, frustration and hours of fear that had been building up over these past months came cascading out of me.
I fell into a heap in Hubby’s arms.
I cried. A lot. Sobbed.
And then I became angry.
I did not want my emotional breakdown to mean that we were defeated.
I didn’t want my doubt and fear to hurt her chances. I didn’t want my emotion to seep into her ability to believe she was going to get better.
I had to change my attitude. I had to do everything I could to turn this around.
OPEN THE CHATLINE TO THE HORSEGODS, PLEASE.
I marched to the barn and sat down next to her.
Through sobs, I begged the Horsegods to call in a favor.
I begged and demanded that they listen to me.
I looked at my girl, straight in her big eyes, and I told her that I was not going to let her die of this. She could go, and she could even go soon if she wanted, but not because of this founder.
I bargained with the Horsegods and offered up anything they wanted in exchange for a miracle.
I put my hands on her hoof.
…Part of me felt ridiculous and another part of me felt empowered…
I did my best to channel gold and white flying colors – picturing the crystal clean white sparkly shine of uninfected bone. I wrapped her coffin bone in gold ribbons and used every trick I have ever learned to engulf her foot in healing energy.
Mama Tess fixed her eyes on me the entire time.
And then I had a heart to heart with her.
I reminded her of all the promises I had made to her throughout her life. I had kept my end of the bargain. Now, I needed her to fight through this and recover so that other horses could benefit from what we have learned. Please my girl, please.
I kissed her and told her that she was beautiful and strong.
I had begged, bargained, demanded and pleaded my case. I called upon the Horsegods to step in and help. I used my body as a conduit and then I told her that we had to do this – together.
And then I left the barn.
Somehow, the Horsegods Hotline made me feel better.
A FEW HOURS LATER…
A few hours later, I went back into the barn. MT had been up and had wandered all around the barn, eating the food I had spread out for her.
When I went back to feed her dinner, she was also up and waiting.
At 8pm, I administered her meds. She was bright and got up when she saw me.
I’m not saying she is healed, but perhaps both of our souls had some healing this evening.
I dunno, but I am holding onto the power of Horsegods.
Please, horsegods, please.
HORSE AND MAN is a blog in growth… if you like this, please pass it around!
Thank you… I’m thrilled you made it to the bright side of it all. Your words have given me
strength today. Much appreciated.
I stumbled across you blog while looking for cures for my little mans (2 year olds AQHA) dandruff since then I have been hooked and have read almost every post. Sending healing thoughts and energy your way each and every day. This post here really got to me. I had a LONG life and limb road with my life long horse and the love of my life. He had a run in with barbed wire and the resulting injury left 2 inches of bone exposed in his hock. I know exactly that feeling of maybe they are giving up and that maybe you can’t do enough. I felt it many times at one point I was told that i would be lucky if he was ever sound enough on it to be in a field with out pain meds.
All I can say is keep with the healing thoughts and allow those moments of falling apart. Every time I fell apart the other love of my life (BF) would just hold me while I cried but everytime I would find myself climbing back in the stall to cuddle with Lightning. As if the thought of hurting me was the worst thing to happen to him he would get stronger each and every time. Now we are 2 years since the injury and we are preparing to return to competition in the spring.
thank you for sharing all this with us and we are all rooting for you and MT!
Dawn, you have given MT every chance in the world. Don’t give up until she tells you she is done. She will, you know. If she tells you it’s time to stop, I will cry with you. Hugs
Thanks for making me cry at work. I am picturing your same healing images in my mind for Tess as well.
Soooo rooting for you both. I am learning so much along the way and I am grateful for that knowledge.
For some reason I attract horses with laminitis issues (maybe the horse gods know I don’t give up either), each case has been so different, there is no “one cure fits all”. As hard as these situations are, I believe they allow us to be interchangeably student and teacher, and you Dawn are both: MT’s student and our teacher.
Just to let you know that all of us who read your blog everyday are behind you and MT. We are also praying to the Horse Gods for a good recovery for Tess.
Hope you and hubby, your family and your 4 legged family all have a very Happy Christmas and lets hope for a great New Year for us all.