Yay!

Due to a miscommunication between myself and Michael Johnson, I have (luckily) been sent three extra signed HEALING SHINE books!

Of course, I told Michael of the error and he graciously told me to ‘SELL ‘EM’ for the Bucket Fund.

So… yay!

I know that many of you wanted this fabulous book… so here is another chance.  There are 3 available.  If the link takes you to the Bucket Fund page, that means that these 3 books are gone.

However, if they are all sold out, you can always purchase your own copy at Michael’s website.

SOLD OUT!

Click image to purchase the signed book. 100% of purchase price will go to the December Bucket Fund!

 I  NEED A HOTLINE FOR CARETAKERS OF CHRONICALLY ILL HORSES.

I’m guessing that many of you know what it is like to take care of a chronically ill person or horse.

I have great empathy for your plight.

Taking care of a sick person/beloved pet is very stressful.  Ups and Downs.  Highs and Lows.

For me, I have a good day if Tess is having a good day.

But then again, I always pretend I’m having a good day – for her sake.  Sometimes that is the most difficult thing…

Daily, I tell her how beautiful she is and how strong she is and how she has the ability to heal herself – even if I am not believing it.

Sometimes I have to go back into the house and give myself a pep talk.

TODAY, I LOST IT.

Tess keeps me strong.  She is such a trooper.  Every day, she keeps on fighting.

But, yesterday, after 5 rounds of maggots, she was fatigued.

She didn’t want me to touch her foot.  She was pissy and unhappy and had pinny ears.

OK…  I can deal with a bad day…

But, when I went to the barn this morning, she was still down.  I approached her and she had that same expression.

My heart sunk.

Is this the day she quits?  I could feel my emotions welling inside me.

I kept telling myself that people who are ill have bad days and they sometimes treat their caretakers very badly.

She was treating me badly.

I wasn’t sure what to do.   I felt helpless and fearful.

I had to get a handle on my emotions.

I FELL APART IN HUBBY’S ARMS

The pain, frustration and hours of fear that had been building up over these past months came cascading out of me.

I fell into a heap in Hubby’s arms.

I cried.  A lot.  Sobbed.

And then I became angry.

I did not want my emotional breakdown to mean that we were defeated.

I didn’t want my doubt and fear to hurt her chances.  I didn’t want my emotion to seep into her ability to believe she was going to get better.

I had to change my attitude.  I had to do everything I could to turn this around.

OPEN THE CHATLINE TO THE HORSEGODS, PLEASE.

I marched to the barn and sat down next to her.

Through sobs, I begged the Horsegods to call in a favor.

I begged and demanded that they listen to me.

I looked at my girl, straight in her big eyes, and I told her that I was not going to let her die of this.  She could go, and she could even go soon if she wanted, but not because of this founder.

I bargained with the Horsegods and offered up anything they wanted in exchange for a miracle.

I put my hands on her hoof.

…Part of me felt ridiculous and another part of me felt empowered…

I did my best to channel gold and white flying colors – picturing the crystal clean white sparkly shine of uninfected bone.   I wrapped her coffin bone in gold ribbons and used every trick I have ever learned to engulf her foot in healing energy.

Mama Tess fixed her eyes on me the entire time.

And then I had a heart to heart with her.

I reminded her of all the promises I had made to her throughout her life.   I had kept my end of the bargain.  Now, I needed her to fight through this and recover so that other horses could benefit from what we have learned.  Please my girl, please.

I kissed her and told her that she was beautiful and strong.

There.

I had begged, bargained, demanded and pleaded my case.  I called upon the Horsegods to step in and help.  I used my body as a conduit and then I told her that we had to do this – together.

And then I left the barn.

Somehow, the Horsegods Hotline made me feel better.

A FEW HOURS LATER…

A few hours later, I went back into the barn.   MT had been up and had wandered all around the barn, eating the food I had spread out for her.

When I went back to feed her dinner, she was also up and waiting.

At 8pm, I administered her meds.  She was bright and got up when she saw me.

I’m not saying she is healed, but perhaps both of our souls had some healing this evening.

I dunno, but I am holding onto the power of Horsegods.

Please, horsegods, please.

HORSE AND MAN is a blog in growth… if you like this, please pass it around!