Tag Archives: Illahee

Mommy Brag and Videographer Blues…






First, a Bulletin Board Announcement… (Do you remember ever getting to use the PA system at your school?  I kinda feel like that now.)

ILLAHEE TRAINING

My Bulletin Flash is that my Morgan trainer, Forest Nealon, told me that he is totally wide open for any of the Morgan Kid divisions.  His last kid graduated high school and he has no more in the barn.  Wild!  It is great to not have any competitors in your own barn for your divisions!  So, if you know of a serious Morgan kid that needs a new (really wonderful) trainer, send them to Forest.  Of course, if you aren’t a kid but still want to show a Morgan and need a new trainer, call him.  I vouch for him.  He’s turned out my horses beautifully and taken them to the Worlds successfully 4 times!  (503-625-6335)

VIDEOGRAPHER BLUES

Oy.  Have you ever tried to video your horse – alone?

Well, I have.  Totally unsuccessfully.

Maybe you have this down.  Maybe you know how to do this.  But, I don’t.  I mean I’m OK at videoing the older horses but the babies – forgedaboudit.

Usually it goes something like this:

OK, Wrig, we need to take a video of you today.  I’m just going to quick brush you… Put down the brush!  OK, now HOLYCRAP what happened to your mane?  Who bit you?!  Here, let me put some shoe polish over that… OK, good now, ARE YOU BLEEDING? OH, no, I see, it is just flymask fuzz.  Whew, OK, now look really pretty for Mommy, OK?  Now stand and, no stand, STAND, STAAAAAAAND STILL NOW!   Oh nevermind, we’ll just do some trotting stuff.  Come to the arena… Quit rubbing against me… C’mon, let’s get your halter on and COME HERE!  Walk with me.  Up here.  Now!  You’re alright… HEY SLOW DOWN.  Stop and Baaaaaack right now.  OK good.  Now walk.  WALK.  WAAAAAALLLK!

Fine.  Just go into the arena and …  waaaiiiiittttt, save that!  I’m not filming yet!  Stop.  No, go! But, wait till I get my camera (massive hurrying and scurrying to find the video toggle..) OK, now TROT.  No, over here.  Here.  Hey, stop that and trot.  T -R -O -T.  C’MON NOW.  Quit sniffing that. Move up here and trot, please.  No, not away from me, come towards Mommy.  (He picks up whip, rustles it, scares himself, steps on whip and breaks it in half…) OKOK, CALM DOWN!  Just put it DOWN. TROT! Now trot.  This way! No, don’t stop at the fence, come back towards me but pass me and look really good, OK? Get away from the camera!  Baaack!!  NO!  OH, my bad.. I didn’t mean to slap you, I was just falling backwards when you grabbed the lens… now, don’t put your head down… soft eyes… C’mon, Mommy didn’t mean it… come back (sniff… as I start to cry softly).  Puleeeeze…  There’s a carrot in this for you…

OY.

In the end, I had a camera full of arena footing, sweat pouring into my eyeballs, a very confused  horse and no video.  Sound familiar?  So I wrote this little ditty…

ODE TO THE SOLO EQUINE VIDEOGRAPHER

He prances around when the camera is off

He’s so gorgeous in the field with his springy piaffe

He loves to parade and strut in front of others

He’d do this all day if he had his druthers…

But pull out the camera and what do you get?

A boy who’s afraid to take one little step

He’ll hug on the fences or string himself out

He’ll trot like a camel or stand there and pout

You put down the camera to help him stand right

He fusses and squiggles and puts up a fight

You tell him to “quit!” and back you go…

Right about then he puts his head low

What is that thing in your hand- that lil’ box?

He rushes right over and messes his locks

His nose in the camera his feet atop yours

He pushes and wonders while your anger soars

You pick up the whip and fling it around

He runs away madly not to be found

His nose against a pile, his buttock in frame

Oh why did I ever say I’d play this game?

“Why can’t you help Mommy,” I turn and hiss

He delights, strikes a pose that I totally miss

I dust off the camera and wipe my brow

Only to have him perform a perfect bow

I quick turn on the camera and hope he’ll be good

Alas, he stands downhill, like I knew he would

So forget trying to do this all by yourself

Because horsie knows better

And he ain’t gonna help…

(the end.)

OK, silly, I know but I felt better after scribbling it.

Why was I trying to video my young horse?  Well, now I get to brag.  Thanks for asking!

MOMMY BRAG

I don’t breed anymore for many reasons.  The foremost being that there are too many great horses that need homes.  But, I still have two show horses left.  The one I’m bragging about is Bellorazzo.  Last week, in his second show ever, he won his Open Park Harness division (with Forest) at Regionals which qualifies him for the World Championships.  Yahooo!  Here is his photo.

So, when you have one that is already trained and doing very well, people inquire about him.  And, sometimes they ask, “Well, do you have a cheaper version at home?”  Ummmm.  Yes…

I bet that means you are going to ask me for a video, right?

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HORSE AND MAN is a blog in growth... if you like this, please pass it around!