The Fabulous Zipper Sound and other short stories…


Friday, July 23rd, 2010 | Filed under Musings




THE FABULOUS ZIPPER SOUND

The Fabulous Zipper Sound.  Do you know it?  My riding horses know it well… In fact, I think they tell each other to listen for it.  I think they pass down the knowledge from saged trail mount to newbie trail tripper.  “Have you heard it yet?  Well, wait for it… “

Yup.  And, it is entirely my fault.  I did this to them.  I created the sound that makes all activity stop.  I created the sound that makes my thundering horse screech to a halt.  And do you know how?  By storing Nature Valley Granola bars in my ugly zipper reverse fanny pack.

I digress.  Do you have an ugly reverse fanny pack?  I call it ugly, well, because it is… and I call it a reverse fanny pack because it really is supposed to be a fanny pack but I wear it in front – even uglier – because I got tired of squishing the contents.

Now, I pretty much think all fanny packs are ugly.  But, this one is especially ugly.  Not just because it is older than the hills, but because it is made of neon neoprene (which may be actually back in style now) and it is just small enough to look like a tummy tumor instead of a pack.

Why do I wear such a lovely fashion item when I’m riding?  Well, have you ever been separated from your horse when your horse is carrying the truck keys?  I have.  ‘Nuff said…

So, I carry the reverse fanny pack which always contains my phone, my keys and a food item.  Lately, it has been carrying Nature Valley Granola bars.

FINN frozen in his cookie stance, ear cocked towards the zipper sound...

Now, here is where the power of the Zipper Sound comes to life.  You see, if I so much as think about moving towards the zipper pouch tied to my stomach, the horse hesitates… “Is she going THERE?!  Will she give me some of that granola manna from horsey heaven?  Should I stop and look at her sweetly?!”…    So, you see how it goes.  I lean ever so slightly towards opening my pouch and whomever I am riding stops dead in their tracks and becomes a begging horse statue.  Hmmmmmm.

Interestingly, these horses o’ mine are not foolhardy with their sliding stops.  They have learned to not bother if they feel my phone buzzing first.  The buzzing is a precursor to me making the zippy noise but NOT giving them anything.  However, the even more annoying part about the bad behavior I have just trained into my horses is that they will do this if I am just checking my phone messages.

Finn, mid chew, still frozen... we both win.

You know why, right?  Because I usually do give them a bite if I’m checking my messages.  I’m a really good trainer.

Sigh.

But, the great news is this!!  Yesterday, Finn was acting like a goofball and I needed him to pay attention.  He refused to settle down when I was with a group of people.  I knew I needed to be subtle because I was worried that he was going to upset another horse in this novice group so I… wait for it…  just ZIPPED!  OMG.  He stopped rock-solid still immediately and ever so sweetly looked back at me.  It was Perfect!  Beautiful!  The best statue pose ever!

So now I know what to do when he is being a butthead.  Zippety Do Dah!

WHY WEAR FULL CHAPS WHEN IT IS SO HOT OUTSIDE?

Yup.  I can still hear myself saying that.  I’m one of those that never wears full chaps in the summer.  Ugh, too  hot.

But today, I learned a lesson.  Today, I had to dismount and walk for a ways to retrieve something I had dropped.  Prickly prick prickky pinch stab stabbbby pointy pin prick ouwwey prickery blach.

You will never hear me say, “I could never wear full chaps in the summer!” again.  Silly me.

ROY ROGERS ITEMS SAFE AT THE AUTRY MUSEUM

I know that many of you were terribly upset to learn that Roy Roger’s keepsakes and personal items from his museum were sold after the museum closed. 

Well, I know… but the good news is that many of his pieces were bought by the Autry Museum.  Here is a direct quote from the Autry:

“The Roy Rogers and Dale Evans Archive, and key artifacts representing their entertainment career spanning more than 50 years, have found a permanent home at the Autry in Southern California.  The Autry s dedicated to preserving Roy and Dale’s legacy and our Western heritage.”

That is nice to know, eh?  Website:  www.TheAutry.org

Trigger and Bullet went to RFD-TV.

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July’s Bucket Fund will benefit the charity THE GOLDEN CARROT SANCTUARY.  To learn all about the Bucket Fund and to donate $5,  please click on the photo (photo credit, Trish Lowe)



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HORSE AND MAN is a blog in growth... if you like this, please pass it around!



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