I sit here writing this – on a hunch.
I really don’t have a conclusion and I’m not even sure what I’m going to say or what any of it means – if any of it mean anything at all…
But, I think my horse, Tess, and I are connected in many glorious ways … but also in an unhealthy way.
I think she is carrying my illness or I’m carrying hers. Or, we are supporting each other in our illnesses or taking on each others illnesses or something unhealthy like that.
I’ll tell you. As crazy as it sounds, I think I’m onto something.
COULD IT BE?
As you all know, I have Chronic Lymes Disease and Tess has Chronic Feet issues from her Founder episode last year.
I’m getting better and she’s getting better.
But we both have our off days.
What has become increasingly interesting, odd and scary is that we have good days and bad days – at the same time.
I’ve been keeping a log.
IS IT ME OR HER?
So then I got to thinking… could I be influencing her or could she be influencing me?
If she is having a good day, that makes me happy and I have a better day. When she has a bad day, I feel badly, too.
But could she be picking up on my pain and taking it on herself?
Does she anticipate my bad days coming on?
How did this cycle start? Where is the beginning? How do I end it?
…A crazy, amazing and scary concept.
But, for certain, I do not want to be making my horse ill.
I want us both to get better – independently.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
I’m actually seeking help.
I want to make sure that our dynamic is healthy – not dependent or co-dependent.
I want to open the Road of Recovery for the both of us.
MAMA TESS’ VAULT IS OPEN! SOME NEW ITEMS LISTED TODAY! CLICK IMAGE TO SEE!