A TOUR OF TESS’ REHAB FACILITY (what used to be my barn…) ;)


Tuesday, November 26th, 2013 | Filed under Mama Tess




As I was walking to the barn this evening, it occurred to me that I should really introduce you all to my secondary job here at the ranch…

INTRODUCING ‘CASA DE MAMA TESS – REHAB FACILITY’

I  used to think of the barn as … well… the barn.

But, now that Mama Tess has taken up residency for the past 5 months (give or take), I realized that I needed to embrace my new rehab facility.

So, please come on the spontaneous Grand Opening Tour!

Unfortunately, the cleaning crew (me) didn’t get the memo about writing this post until about an hour ago… so the guests – the news crew (me) and photojournalist (me) – had to make a quick, dusty swipe with the broom… and then the party commenced!

BUT FIRST, I DIGRESS…

I’m sure the mice felt this way about Cinderella… and the birds could relate with the Princess in the Tower…

Anyone stuck in a small space tends to make it their own.

My barn has now become a hybrid barn/rehab facility set up to cater to the whims and routines of its most prominent 24/7 resident – Mama Tess.

Tonight, for the first time, I realized that I had given up ownership to my mare…

I now just worked for her.

Come... let me show you around my Casa!

Come… let me show you around my Casa!

THE GREAT ROOM

Every modern home has the Great Room… this is where friends gather, entertainment happens and the wide open, welcoming feeling prevails.

In Casa de Mama Tess Rehab facility, the same is true.

The Great Room is the pulse of the operation.

From the Great Room, one can enter the Master Suite (with Master Bath), the Guest Room and Library/Sitting Room (with secondary bath), the Garage, the Galley, the back door to the Patio, the Pantry Suite and the Front Vestibule.

The Great Room.

The Great Room.

THE EXERCISE SUITE

As with most modern Great Rooms, there is usually a piece of exercise equipment nestled in the corner.

At Casa de Tess, our THERAPLATE is nestled conveniently between the Galley and the Pantry Suite.

Guests (Tess) can partake in Spa Sessions whenever there is a hand available to plug it in and turn it on.

Here we see MT demonstrating her skill on the Theraplate.

Tess demonstrating the gym equipment nestled between The Galley and The Pantry in the Great Room.

Tess demonstrating the gym equipment nestled between The Galley and The Pantry in the Great Room.

MASTER SUITE

Next we move into the Master Suite.

Luckily for Tess, this room is equipped with our patented Heavenly Bedding.  Yes, 100 cubic feet of thick, rich shavings, picked twice a day and changed once a week.  Not many facilities can compare with our Heavenly Bedding!

Tess loves her Heavenly Bedding.

Tess loves her Heavenly Bedding.

The Master Suite also has the newest in bathroom fixtures… the Roving Toilet.  Tess’ suite has the duplicity to be converted, in an instant, into a bathroom!  Any place, any where, any time, the Master Suite and Roving Toilet can accommodate our guest’s needs.

Oh, and let’s not forget the Master Suite’s Meal Plan.  Food is placed on the convenient door rail as well as tied to the entry post throughout the day.

When the meals are finished, it it common for the resident to fling the dishes and nets as far and as wide as she sees fit.  And, without a peep, the Casa de Tess staff (me) scurries around and fetches all dinnerware.

This is the Master Suite with 100 cubic feet of Heavenly Bedding!  Also equipped with food plate rigs that allow dishware to be flung anywhere when they are empty.

This is the Master Suite with 100 cubic feet of Heavenly Bedding! Also equipped with food plate rigs that allow dishware to be flung anywhere when they are empty.

THE GALLEY

The most exciting aspects of the Master Suite are its views.  One vast, expansive view exposes the entire front of the property through the fenêtre à ossature de bois (that’s French for ‘wood window’).  The other vast view is through the front vestibule which looks onto the Main House.  But the favorite view is into the Master Galley.

This is where it all happens.

The most exciting work of all is done in The Galley.

Need we say more?

All the residents of the Casa agree that our chef (me) creates the most scrumptious meals out of The Galley.

It is a sacred place behind a door that only the chef can seem to open.

(All the animals have tried…)

The Galley - where all great meals are made.

The Galley – where all great meals are made.

THE GUEST ROOM/SITTING ROOM/LIBRARY SUITE

Next to the Master Suite is the Guest Room/Sitting Room/Library Suite.  Our guest uses this room to reflect, ponder and nap.

The sun is brighter in this room and is conducive to afternoon naps.

Luckily, there is a red bucket full of fresh well water that seems to be our guest’s favorite imbibatory.  This red bucket is cleaned and refilled twice a day, every day.

The Guest Room is great for afternoon naps!

The Guest Room is great for afternoon naps!  It also has the Red Bucket of Well Water – the best!

On the other side of this luxurious suite is the Library.  Here, decorated with more serious decor,  free of sun, and perfect for a mid day nap.  Or morning nap.  Or just to stand and not be in the sun.

Oh, and there is another luxury bathroom under the window and sometimes on the threshold to the Library.

This is the Library/Sitting room.  Good for a nap out of the sun - or for contemplation.

This is the Library/Sitting room. Good for a nap out of the sun – or for contemplation.

THE GARAGE

Tess was a bit embarrassed with the Garage and asked that I blur the photo – to make it appear less obvious that she wasn’t very good at housekeeping.

(OK, it wasn’t Tess… it was me who isn’t very good at housekeeping…)

In the Garage, Tess has her specialty equipment stored:  Steaming devices, her hay soaking bucket, the divider to her trailer, the stall dividers – should she have a guest-, summer fans, summer feed buckets, extra water, shower implements… she even stores household items for the other horses although I think she does this for free.

The Garage looks like most other garages… she’ll get to fixing it up and straightening it when she has the time  (OK, when I get the time…).

The rather embarrassing garage... don't look closely.

The rather embarrassing garage… don’t look closely.

THE PANTRY OF HORSEGOD

Last on our tour is the Pantry (of Horsegod).

The Pantry of Horsegod is the most precious and special place.  Horses from all around can hear when the large, rolling doors rumble their song of enchantment.

All one has to do walk anywhere near The Pantry and all ears point forward.

The Pantry is Tess’ most treasured possession in the Casa.

The Pantry is so popular, it is difficult to keep it filled.

In fact, the Casa de Mama Tess crew (me) has to have another job just to fill The Pantry.

It is that important.

The Pantry of Horsegod.

The Pantry of Horsegod.

ROOM SERVICE

Last but not least is the special guest gift of Room Service.

Occasionally, Late Night Room Service is available.  If residents (Tess) are especially good or especially good at pathetic looks to the staff (me), Room Service will hastily arrive.

Of course, the best way to receive personal Room Service in Casa de Mama Tess, is to ring the bell.

Tess’ bell is in her throat.

“Heh hheh mmmheheeeh, muuuuheeee.”

Then at an even lower timbre, adding batting lashes…

“Muhhhhhhhhmuhmuh. Muh Muh.”

Gets me every time.

Room Service... just ring the bell.

Room Service… just ring the bell.

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Our November Bucket Fund mini jenny, Lila.  Can we help her with her eye?  Click image.

Our November Bucket Fund mini jenny, Lila. Can we help her with her eye?  WE ARE 75% THERE!!!  Click image.

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HORSE AND MAN is a blog in growth... if you like this, please pass it around!



2 comments have been posted...

  1. Dawn Stephens

    What a great blog!! Very humorous and true – especially the Roving Toilet!! Makes me remember fondly the blog about when two of your horses (maybe one of the donkeys?) got into the galley and locked themselves in! Next time you need to pull something out of the archives, I vote for that one!

    Thanks for the most wonderful blog. It’s the one email that I consider a MUST READ every day.

    One of your most dedicated fans,

    Dawn

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