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As I write this, I’m Listening to (no affiliation, just sharing):

My New Year’s Resolution, well, one of them at least, is to TRUST more.  You see, I’m kindofa control-liking person.  I’m a ‘get it done’ person.  If something needs to happen, I’ll do it.

And that’s all good…

Until it isn’t so good.

For example, my Lyme Specialist told me that in his experience (and he is the head of Rheumatology at a huge, well-respected Lyme Centric University hospital…), the only people that get Lyme Disease are the very young, the very old and ‘A Type personalities’.

Yup, only the people with lessened immune systems – and those who drive themselves into illness, get Lyme.

Hmmmmm.

This DR stared right into my eyes and told me that I ‘got my cells into this mess, I had to back them out of it’.

“How?!”, I asked, ready to jump into action… (of course.)

He said, “Do what makes you happy, balance your life and trust that you will be OK.”

Huh?

Since then, I’ve started to notice all the ways that I got my cells into this mess – and all the ways I could do what makes me happy, balance my life and trust that I will be OK.” – to get my cells out of this mess.

For example…

THIS MORNING.

So, this morning, I went into Tess’ barn to feed and she was still in bed.  This was unusual and it upset me.  Why was she laying down so late in the morning?

Immediately, I went into THAT MODE that isn’t good for either of us.

I checked her all over and gave her some of her favorite food.  She stood up, ate it and then sat back down.  She also bit at one of  her feet.

And… In the way that only I can mindblow myself, I started to fret.

MANTRA

“Do what makes you happy, balance your life and trust that you will be OK.”

So, I did.

I fed everyone else, cleaned out her barn and went to Starbucks for a Sunday morning treat for myself.

AS I DROVE UP THE DRIVEWAY…

As I drove up the driveway with my treat, there she was.  On the front lawn, eating.

I felt silly for my morning fret.

Some mornings are better than others for the both of us.  Some days I wake up tired.  Some nights I don’t sleep as well as others.  Some days my hips hurt and other days, they don’t.

Same with her.

“Do what makes you happy, balance your life and trust that you will be OK.”

SO I GROOMED HER – AND EMBARRASSED HER.

I took her photo as she was happily grazing.  And then I proceeded to groom her, which she doesn’t particularly like when she is busy doing something else.

But, I groomed her anyway… and I went so far as to put Aladdin’s Holiday Rhythm Beads around her neck.  She’d look so pretty… I thought to myself.

She HATED them!

I swear… she looked at me and clearly said, “Get these ridiculous things off of me!”

Me:  I will, I will… just let me take a quick picture… and…

SO SHE ATE THE FENCE.

She only chews on wood when she wants something.  (It isn’t pain or ulcers, I’ve checked.)

MT started this behavior when she was stuck in the barn without veranda or ranch rights for the first several months of her illness.  If I would come to the barn, she would chew the wood.  If I left, she’d stop.

This was her way of showing me her displeasure and frustration.

Now she uses wood chewing as a shorthand for “Make it stop, now!”  or “Give me something I need, NOW!”

So, what did she do when I didn’t immediately take off the rhythm beads?

She walked over to the Pony Pasture and started to chew their fence.

I took them off.

HAPPY AGAIN…

The beads came off and MT made her way down the driveway and back up.

And to think, a few hours ago I was ready to fret about her today…

“Do what makes you happy, balance your life and trust that you will be OK.”

Clearly, I’ve got some reprogramming to do!   In 2015, I strive to be a Type B (Breezy) Personality!  ;)

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