I went back to the Grass Valley house to pick up some things… our new tenants wanted to move in sooner than we were ready to move out, so we arranged that I would come back, after they had moved in, and clean out the barn – yesterday.
Wow. So odd to see a bunch of other people’s stuff all around.
I totally understood why they had their things all strewn about. Our new house is the same way. It takes a while to unpack and put everything where it is supposed to go – especially when you don’t really know your new surroundings very well. The last thing I want to do is re-move things because I put them away hastily. So, I was actually comforted that they are just as unsettled in Grass Valley as we are in our new home.
Anyway, my point was that their possessions were all over which was …
… So odd.
I guess I wanted to tell you about the waves of emotion that surged through me as I went about cleaning the barn and the paddocks.
Funny, I didn’t feel emotion about cleaning and vacating the house… but I did feel strong emotion leaving the horse areas.
I thought about all the babies who had been born in the now too silent barn. I thought about Mama Tess and how the barn was our meeting place for those last years. I thought about all the stormy nights when I had all the horses squashed together, either in the barn or just outside, eating warm mashes.
Mental images kept grabbing my heart.
The wild mares Sam and Remi… How I made friends with them as we ate together in the large stall night after night.
I thought of Glefsa, my Icelandic, who bit the back of my chair during her labor. I still have the chair with her teeth marks.
I thought of my beloved Aladdin. He used to roam the ranch 24/7. I could picture him in his favorite snoozing spots.
I remembered washing Bodhi’s horrible wound three times a day – using the strongest hose right outside the barn.
I remembered sharing the lovely view out of MT’s window with her… and how the Mama skunk came out with her babies on night, parading as if she and MT were mutual maternity buddies.
I thought of how Dodger would colic so I’d bring him in and baby him until he was settled. I thought of all the epic shenanigans Wrigley and Violet (Glefsa’s foal) would create together.
And as I walked through the Oh so silent paddocks, I heard them all. The voices, sighs, calls, nickers and brays filled my shocked heart.
I know that in time, our new house will be home.
But on this day, I felt I was leaving my home… that was no longer my home… And that I was so appreciative that the new tenants were in love with the ranch. They looked at it through wondrous eyes – as if being handed a gift.
When I saw that look, I knew they were the ones.
So, that’s what I told my heart.
It is now their turn to love this land.
And time for me to take my memories – and go make new ones.