The Donkey Speaks…

(Norma Jean is my donkey. I help her with her FB page.)

AN OPEN LETTER FROM NORMA, THE DONKEY

Well, as many of you might have surmised recently, I fired Secretary a few weeks ago.

In hindsight, that might not have been the best idea.

You see, at the time, I thought she was not performing to the best of her abilities. In fact, I would have said that she was slipping and not taking her duties seriously.

It started when she broke the camera. I could understand that. But it took her far too long to replace it.

And when she finally did fetch a new camera, she didn’t have any batteries.

C’mon. How hard is it to get batteries? Heck, even Slick had some in his stash.

Anyway, you get my drift. I was pretty upset with her…

Then she did something unforgivable.

She separated me from Slick.

Yup. Slick got sick and at first she asked me to take care of him. But then she told me that I had to leave him so she could make sure he got his medicine.

I told her that I would make sure he got his medicine…. there was no way that I would eat it… But she didn’t believe me and she put me back in with Dodger and the Boss Mare.

I was so angry, I fired her on the spot.

And I felt better

… for about an hour.

I guess I didn’t really think this whole thing through. You see, although Slick had a battery, he explained through the fence that we would need 4 to run a camera.

And at this point, we didn’t have a camera.

Slick did tell me all about the new iPhone which could take photos and work as a computer – but he had only read about them in some magazine at the vet’s office.

We pondered me reactivating my Ebray account, but Slick’s prior pirating of my account had me permanently banned.

Then BG told me that if I did happen to find a camera, I would still need a computer to get onto the World Wide Web.

This seemed insurmountable.

I spoke to my spider friends and they had no idea what I was talking about… so I decided to consult with the smartest horse on the ranch – Gwen.

Gwen told met that not only would I need a computer and a camera – but I would also need hands.

She said that unless I had a voice-activated computer, I would need to be able to type and thus far, there are no keyboards made for hooves – even delicate hooves like mine.

I had overheard Manservent speaking about the Mac computers so I asked Gwen if maybe a Mac would have hoofboards. She didn’t think so.

Bummer.

I then decided to speak to the 2^nd smartest horse on the ranch – Rojo. He wasn’t as book smart as Gwen, but he was smart in the all-around way that only a once wild mustang could be.

I had to go through Remi for an appointment to speak with Rojo.

I got 15 minutes yesterday.

I explained my predicament to Rojo.

“Hmmmm.” He pondered.

“Well, Donkeyjean” (that is what he calls me – Donkeyjean)

“If I were you, I’d hire a Secretary…”

I gasped. That was the last thing I wanted to hear…

I told him that I had just fired my Secretary and that I had come to realize that Secretaries are hard to find. I told him how I had advertised all over the ranch and even though I had several applications submitted, none were really qualified to do all the things that Secretary had done.

I feel sheepish.

I started to think about my rash behavior with Secretary.

Was my life with her really that bad?

Sure, I missed Slick but he was right nextdoor and I could still see him and chat with him whenever I wished.

And yes, I was upset that she didn’t take my need for a camera as seriously as I had…

But, on the whole, I had it pretty good around here. I got to run for office as Brayor, I am a Spokesdonk. I had a few dates on MatchDonk.com, I have elegant face jewelry, I got to wear a donkeycam for a day , I had so many supplements when I was sick, they called me a regular Donkafeller… the list goes on and on. Heck, I even know how to do the ‘end of runway pout and jut’ like Heidi Donklum.

I’ve had it pretty good.

So, I swallowed my pride and called out for Secretary to come visit me.

She came.

I told her that I was being silly and that it was OK if she took a bit of time off now and again. I told her that she was the best employee a Donkowner could ever have and that I wished to re-employ her.

She accepted and gave me a treat.

Life is good – again.