So yesterday, over the long weekend, I was inside Annie’s pasture – just about to put salve on a small cut.
I had one forearm on her side (she was eating) while I was using both hands to position the salve container.
Out of the blue, we both hear a very loud, abrupt and shocking, “BLAAAAAAAAAAAA” sound.
Annie jumped. Since I was basically leaning on her, I lost my footing. As I tried to right myself, I put my foot down exactly in the trough runoff water which created a wateryclay slippery slope.
Uh huh. Dawnie go boom!
Yup. I went straight downhill on my side like a puppy on a waterslide. As I was falling, I remember musing to myself that this felt like slipping in cake frosting…
SLAAAPPPIDY SLIPPY FLOP although graceful. Nothing was hurt except my pride.
Upon stopping, I was completely and totally on my side, on the ground, like a hose dragged through the mud. One side shiney and clean, the other – well, not so much.
I GOT UP.
So, first I checked all my parts and made sure I didn’t have an Annie hoof impression in my noggin.
Then, I stood up and found my wits.
What was that noise?!
I slappy slop crawled through the fence boards and slappy walked over to the garage.
I said to Hubby, “What was that noise?”
He was working on his car… “Oh I barked at Vivey so she wouldn’t eat the cat food and…” then he burst out laughing.
I was still holding the horse medicine I was going to use on Annie. It was covered in mud, like the left side of my body.”
ME: “Honey, how many times have we talked about you not making any abrupt movements or noises when I’m in with the horses…?”
Hubby, trying not to laugh but failing miserably, “I’m sorry but…holy crap, LOOK AT YOU”.
ME: “What if I was dead right now because Annie got startled and kicked me in the head?”
Hubby: “Well, I’d be very sad. But right now, I’m very happy because you look amazing! You are absolutely and totally caked in mud – just on this side!”
ME: “Yeah, I know. But what if I was dead right now. Would you still be laughing?”
Hubby: “No, but at least you died doing something you loved.”
ME: “That would be your eulogy?! Would you tell them that YOU caused me to die?”
Hubby: “No, that would really ruin it for those that came to your beautiful service…” (His shoulders convulsing…)
ME: “Here is your punishment. Wash this container of horse medicine. I need to go change.”
ANOTHER DAY THAT I WAS GLAD NO ONE HAD A PHONE.
If I had had my phone, it probably would have been ruined.
If Hubby had had his phone, there would be photographic evidence.
Moral of the story? If no one gets hurt, sometimes unfortunate episodes are really funny!