A PONY’S GOTTA DO WHAT A PONY’S GOT TO DO!

I have a Shetland pony named, Slick.

I am forever thankful that he is quite small because if he was tall, I’d be in huuuuge trouble.

Yep, he’s the worst kind of bad – cutebad.

Slick is so dang cute I cannot help but kiss his blondilocks and give him noogies – which infuriates him. In his mind, he is a pony to be taken seriously, even if he is adorable when he’s pitching a fit. The poor guy is forever not understanding why I don’t give him the bighorse respect that he deserves.

Like today, for example…

YOU CAN’T IGNOOOOORE ME!

I never know how these things erupt… when does it make sense to a pony to go above and beyond his normal bad behavior and really pour it on? Dunno. But today was the day for pony extremism.

Here’s how it started –

I have been very, very busy with three commercials happening all at once. I’ve been the kind of busy where you forget to eat and still gain weight because you don’t leave your chair for days… This is the kind of busy where I’ve been living off of a can of Planter’s Peanuts and whatever mints and lint I had in my purse nearby… I’d have been drinking out of the toilet if Hubby hadn’t brought me water and an occasional glass of wine.

Given my infrequent appearances outside, I surmised that the horses must think I’m just inside, doing nothing. Or maybe doing something but ignoring them.

Because I feel guilty and know that the horses are bored and need attention, instead of giving them attention, I let a few of them out during the day to roam around the premises and eat some green grass.

Quick fix.

Today, I let out Tess, Norma, Slick and Dodger.

Normally, this is a very solid and organized group who know the routine and rarely step out of line – or so I thought.

HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY!

Clearly I have been a little too self-involved lately and Slick had had enough of my negligence.

A pony has needs, for criminy sakes.

As it unfolded, I was on a particularly important phone call when I heard what sounded like a landslide on the back patio.

SCCRRRRRRAAPEEEE. SCRAPEY SCRAPE, GNARRLLY GNASH, BUMPITYBUMP, SCRAPPPPPPE, CRASH BUMP BANGITY SCRRAPPPE!

My mind was jumping from my phone conversation to “What in the world is going on out there?!” RED ALERT!

But I couldn’t go downstairs and check it out because my attendance was required on the call.

ARRGH. I knew something really bad was happening. I started to cry softly and fear the worst…

Once the call was over I ran downstairs and flew out the back door.

OH, DID I FINALLY GET YOUR ATTENTION??

This is what I saw – horse rumps and no one taking credit for the overturned chairs and the patio table pushed 3 feet off of its circular brick position. WHO DID THIS?

Slick pricks his ears…

He comes over to have a chat with me and of course, to get the credit which I’m sure he felt he deserved.

Casually, he marches directly to me.

Without any remorse, he starts to graze at my feet. YEAH, IT WAS ME. I WANTED YOU TO COME OUT.

ME to Slick: DID YOU DO THIS??!!
Slick: Yes. Some of my best work, don’t you think?

I glance back at the table and see that the glass is teetering on ‘about to fall’ and I look back at Slick – YOU COULD HAVE BEEN REALLY HURT DOING THAT!

As I run over to the table to fix the glass, I hear another crash behind me…
He’s turned over the last chair, right behind me! (if you look at the previous photos, one chair is still standing – or was…). The nerve! He stands there, upset that I’m righting his wrong. He had to finish his artwork before I fixed it all.

Here I have just gotten through admonishing him for his badboy antics and he clearly is upset that I don’t appreciate his work.

I melt at his desperately cute previous expression and tell him that I totally appreciate his pony ingenuity and art. I had never, ever seen such a display without actually ruining anything…