Category Archives: Mama Tess

Sneaky, Tubby Mares. Sheesh.

In the last coupla days, I have noticed that my mares, who are all together in one pasture, seemed to be rather plump compared to all the other horses here.  Tess is 22, Gwen is 15 and Sam is 8.  So, I have youth, middleage and elder together and they ALL have butterball profiles kinda like Violet Beauregard of Willy Wonka fame (she was the blueberry – I hate when I’m the only one who gets a reference…).


Why are they so, ummm, hearty when the others are just regular?

Tess (22) and Gwen (15) looking very muddy and plump... (Tess is Gwen's dam.)



Well, the mares are in a large 3 acre pasture.  There are only three of them and it has been raining… maybe there is enough grass now to have filled them out and added some, ahem, girth?

But, all the other horses are in large pastures and they aren’t fat portly.  I haven’t given the mares any different feed.  In fact, since it was now getting much colder at night, they should be burning calories, not gaining.

This sudden weight gain was very odd indeed.


I have been pondering this sudden weight gain for a few days.   I had even decreased their morning rations – which was difficult since they are perpetually giving me the “We’re starving” look.

A clue came this morning…   I had to clamber up a hay stack to throw down a few more bales.  (I like to make sure I bring the bales down in a ‘bale created’ step-ladder organized climbing surface so that I never need to teeter on a real ladder stacked against a haypile.  I hate that.  I’d rather climb bales to the top than climb the top of a ladder and push from there.  Yikes.)

Back to the story…

OK, so I was on top of one of the stacks and I turned around to see this:

Huh? How does this happen?


I know the guys didn’t stack the hay that way… Why would they build a tall brick mountain of hay and leave a huge hole against the wall?

And then it all came together for me…

Those dastardly mares had nosed the window open, eaten all the bales within reach, and then closed the window again!


I couldn’t believe what I had deduced so I walked around the barn to see if the window was truly not latched properly and that they could open it with their nubile noses.

Sure enough, it wasn’t latched.

Sure enough, it wasn't latched... easy to nudge open and nudge closed


In fact, there were telltale signs of their break-in…  The barn outer wall was filthy where they were rubbing against it to reach on their tippy-hooves to get inside the window.  The window had teeth marks on it.  The part of the window frame that they pushed closed with their noses was also very dirty.

And, the bales that were missing still had their strings hanging there.

Yup. I see what happened here...



As I stood back there with my camera, Tess walked right up and said, “Wasn’t me.”

Me:  Sure it was

Tess:  Nope.  Can’t even reach that far, see…

Me:  It was you and your sidekicks.  Look, Gwen is just as guilty as you are.

Tess:  Yep, it was her.  Not me.

Gwen:  Mooooooooommmmm!  Don’t blame me for this.  It was YOUR idea.


What? Wuddn't me.


Tess:  OK, it wasn’t Gwen, it was Sam.

Sam (from across the pasture):  Huh?  I know I’m too short.  Look at me!

Gwen:  Well, you ate everything that fell on the ground!


See, I can't even reach that far...


Tess:  OK it was those tricky ponies.  They broke into our pasture and ate the bales.

Gwen (walking away and doing her best Col. Klink impression):  “I know nothink.”

Me:  Um, the ponies are even shorter than you are.  There is no possible way they did this unless they were standing on your backs.

Tess (looking earnest):  Yup.  That is what they did.

Me:  Uh huh.  OK.  If that is what you want me to believe…

Tess:  That is my final statement on the issue.  Oh, and you don’t need to check the other windows as I already did and they are locked.  Just sayin’…

Gwen's wideload walking away... doing her best Clink impression, "I know nothink!".


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To read Autumn's story and help her through the Bucket Fund, click here.





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HORSE AND MAN is a blog in growth... if you like this, please pass it around!

Man, I need some of that stuff!

Do any of you let one of your older or more sedate horses walk around your property at will?  I did that with Aladdin.  He was out all day to make the rounds and be Kinglike, then at night I’d bring him in.

I’m sure many of you do not let your horses roam around your property – and for good reason! Horses can be very disruptive and destructive!  Their hooves tear up the lawn, they like to eat your favorite flowers and they poop willy-nilly.

Hubby hates this.  If he didn’t know that the topic of Aladdin was off limits, he would have insisted that Aladdin spend his last days NOT roaming around the property.

But, sometimes it is kinda OK to let your horse roam around.  Especially if they are old, or arthritic or one of those ‘been there, done that’ kind of horses who will remain calm when UPS arrives and knows not to eat your prized ornamental grasses.


Aladdin cruising around the place during his last days. (I miss him.)


Tess is my older (22) ex-showhorse  mare who has delivered 6 foals, is arthritic, stiff, rickety, sedentary, rarely does anything wrong and also rules the roost.

Hubby has agreed to let me let her graze on our front lawn because she is so well behaved and he kinda likes her the best…  She flirts with him and he likes it.

Anyway, I let her out on the last sunny day we had here this week.  Hubby was doing his gardening and I was grooming and futzing with the horses.

Everything was peaceful and lovely.

Here is old Tess, grazing calmiy around the property like Aladdin had in the past...


Out of flipping NOWHERE, my arthritic and sedate, ‘been there-done that’ mare burst into that mid-air Watusi that only horses can do, than sped up the hill, turned on a dime (totally wrecking the grass), did the kicky-bucky thing then leaped back down the hill and did a sliding 20 ft stop on the sloppy, wet front-lawn.

Me to Hubby:  (jumping up and down with glee!) DID YOU SEE THAT??!!

Hubby to Me:  (pissed and trying not to throw a rock at Tess) Yes, I saw it.  She ruined the lawn!


Hubby:  Uh huh.  Great.  Maybe she can replace all the divits.


Hubby:  (grumbling and walking towards his garden to disengage before he exploded)


I didn’t have my camera at the time.   And, even if I did, I’m sure I wouldn’t have figured out the video part soon enough to capture the moments.

So, I went inside right afterward and grabbed my camera for a photo montage of her exploits.  Here you go:

Remnants of the mid-air Watusi

She ran up this hill, bounding over rocks like a youngster!

She landed here, pivoted and shot up over the grassy knoll

This is the grassy knoll which she bounded up and past Hubby

Through the mud from the solar installation. That's Hubby's footprint behind hers as he was following her and yelling at her to STOP!

Here is where she ran back down the hill...

The kicky-bucky thing landing area

And the finale: Her final sliding stop.



As you may have read in earlier posts, I’m testing some herbal equine products on my horses.

She is a new horse!  My old, arthritic, grumbly, kinda pissy, ears-back lead mare is now … walking with a spring in her step!  I wouldn’t say she is 6 years old again, but she sure is moving more fluidly and freely!  I thought I was seeing her feeling more loose but I wasn’t sure until she pulled this little maneuver on the front lawn.

I have Tess on Omega Alpha Sinew-X.  OMG!  This is the stuff that has turned her around!

Click on image to read about it and order if you want some (no affiliation).

Now I’m a believer.  So much so that I emailed the company and asked if it was OK for a human (me) to take it, too!  This was the reply:

“Hi Dawn yes you can take Sinew-x however from our Omega Alpha Store    Omega Alpha Store  we sell the human and the pet products.
Glucosajoint is the one we make for humans as we can put even more Synovial and muscle and ligament support ingredients in that we cant put into our equine due to drug testing at my Olympic levels.  So glad your mare is feeling better. If you decide to take the Sinew-x yourself then a teaspoon 2x a day should work fine.”

So, I ordered the Glucosajoint for myself and we shall see… But, if it doesn’t work, I’m putting a nipple on the bottle of Sinew-X and stealing it from Tess.  I want to feel like that again!

IT IS FORMULATED FOR  A PERFORMANCE HORSE… but my old mare is loving it!

The Sinew-X is formulated for the athlete horse who needs help with joints and tendons.  But, I don’t have any hard working horses anymore, so I gave it to Tess who really worked hard in her show life and is suffering now.

It totally is helping her!

If you want to order Sinew-X (no affiliation), you can use this link.

I’ll let you know if the human formula helps me…

This is Tess in all her glory (and me) after she was newly retired and had just foaled Ava.


HORSE AND MAN is a blog in growth… if you like this, please pass it around!

March Drop in the Bucket Fund:  THE JUNKYARD 4.
These 4 sad horses were found in miserable condition, 2 pregnant, all starved – yet owned by a hay broker!  To learn all about the Bucket Fund and to donate towards the care of The Junkyard 4, please click on the photo (photo credit, Trish Lowe)


For the Newbie Three or the Junkyard 4 !


HORSE AND MAN is a blog in growth... if you like this, please pass it around!