THE RECEIPT FOR OUR OCTOBER BUCKET FUND DONATION TO HONEY BANDIT

Yahoo!  We all need to take a deep breath and turn around and pat ourselves on the backs.  $910!!!!!  That will go a long way in helping to build HB’s new winter shelter.  Wonderful.  I will keep you posted on the progress of the shelter and of course, on the progress of Honey Bandit.  Thank you all.  And, thank you to all of you who kept HB in your thoughts.  All the good juju counts!

I PICKED UP A HEALTH CERTIFICATE TODAY – BITTERSWEET

Well, everytime I think about the inevitable, I get choked up.  I know this is the best thing for this individual.  I know I am not spending the time.  I know this one needs activitiy and a job.  I know I found the very best home possible.  But, it is breaking my heart every time I think about it.

TOO MANY HORSES AND NOT ENOUGH TIME

A while back, I wrote a post about having too many horses and not enough time.  And, it’s true.  I do have too many horses and not enough time – sort of.  I always figured that if I had enough food, space, shelter and love – that was all that was needed.  But, I think I was wrong.  Sometimes there is an individual that wants more.  Sometimes a horse is born that demands more out of their lives than shelter, space, love and food.  They want to be all that they can be — or whatever the equivilant is in their horsey minds.  These are the ones who are always busy.  They have an opinion and want to be involved.  And, they have longing and sad eyes all too often when there is not enough to do.

I have one of those.  It was clear to me.  I have a horse who wants more than I, alone,  could possibly provide.

HIGHER EDUCATION

I decided to see if I could find higher education and a job for this one.  I told myself that wouldn’t change a thing unless I found the perfect situation…

I wasn’t really expecting anything and in my mind, I was just poking around with this idea of finding her a job and a new venue for work and some brain exercise.

The first thought that popped into my mind was to seek out the owner’s of this one’s dam.  I thought that if this horse could be with its mother, then that would ease my separation pain.  I knew the dam lived in a wonderful all-around ranch with a ‘use them but not abuse them’ kids riding school versed in t-touch and several wonderful body modalities.  I felt that I would be sending this one to its mother and essentially, a spa with workouts and fun kids.  These folks baby and nurture their horses.  They take excellent care and I know that the mother is thriving.

So, I made the call.

I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN SO FAST!

The first call I made was to the the very best home I could even consider.  Wholistic Equine.  The voicemail picked up and I left a short message.

Instantly, the phone rang back.

They jumped at the opportunity to unite these two and put mine into their fabulous program.

I was in shock.

Lickity split they arranged shipping that was better than I’ve ever traveled and the deal was done.

I was in shock.

MORE OF AN EXTENDED LEASE

The deal was written by me and it states that this horse comes back to me in any event of anything and that I (and many friends) will be watching.  I invited myself to visit whenever and basically made myself a pest with them.  But, I wanted to make sure that I could come visit and that I own her in the event of any issues.

GOOD KARMA, GOOD OPPORTUNITY, GREAT LIFE vs MY PAIN

Even though I know this is the best possible outcome, there is a part of me that feels like I’ve failed.

I mean, I know I haven’t failed because this lucky horse will be reunited with its dam, live in an incredible environment, and will have a really fun, ever-changing job.

Still. it hurts.

ESCAPE THE TRUCK

I even considered escaping the hand-off with the hauler.  I considered asking a friend to do it.  But, that is not fair to my friend the trusted steed, not fair to me since I want to meet the hauler… as well as grab that wild mane and shake it as I always do.  I want to tell her how much I love her and what a great horse she is and how much she will bloom and how proud I am of her.

But, it would be easier on me if I didn’t watch her leave.  I dread that I will be met with big eyes that don’t understand.

Hopefully, those eyes will show me that she does trust me.  Hopefully, her huge dewy eyes will be filled with hope and expectation and anticipation.  I pray she understands me.

OVERWHELMINGLY I KNOW THIS IS RIGHT, BUT…

I know that the idea came to me the way that all great ideas come — fast and out of nowhere.

I know her new home is wonderful.

I know she will thrive and grow there.

I know reuniting with her dam is a wonderful thing.

I know this is good and right.

I know the pain I am feeling is selfish.  I know I just wnat to keep her here because I love seeing her face daily.

But, I also know it isn’t fair to hold the future back from this wonderful filly-go-lightly.

And, I will always know where she is.

SO LONG, BUT NOT GOOD-BYE, MY PRECIOUS LITTLE GIRL

With a heavy heart but a satisfied mind, I bring you in on my tribute and graduation to my beautiful girl.  She is moving onward to the best place possible for her.  She’ll have her real Mom and the best human caretakers possible (other than me).  She’ll be opening mailboxes and gates and taking kids down the trails in the gorgeous high country of Montana where her luscious and thick coat makes sense.

Violet Beauregard, you will always be my girl.  But, it is time for you to spread your wings and become so much more than I have for you here.

I will visit and you ALWAYS have a home here.  If it doesn’t work out, I will know and I will come get you.

But, y’know, I’m fairly certain that your life is just beginning…

Bittersweet.

HORSE AND MAN is a blog in growth… if you like this, please pass it around!
The November Bucket Fund will benefit THE WILD HORSES AND BURROS, one acre at a time.  To learn all about the Bucket Fund and to donate to this incredible Sanctuary,  please click on the photo (photo credit, Trish Lowe)