Mommy Brag and Videographer Blues…






First, a Bulletin Board Announcement… (Do you remember ever getting to use the PA system at your school?  I kinda feel like that now.)

ILLAHEE TRAINING

My Bulletin Flash is that my Morgan trainer, Forest Nealon, told me that he is totally wide open for any of the Morgan Kid divisions.  His last kid graduated high school and he has no more in the barn.  Wild!  It is great to not have any competitors in your own barn for your divisions!  So, if you know of a serious Morgan kid that needs a new (really wonderful) trainer, send them to Forest.  Of course, if you aren’t a kid but still want to show a Morgan and need a new trainer, call him.  I vouch for him.  He’s turned out my horses beautifully and taken them to the Worlds successfully 4 times!  (503-625-6335)

VIDEOGRAPHER BLUES

Oy.  Have you ever tried to video your horse – alone?

Well, I have.  Totally unsuccessfully.

Maybe you have this down.  Maybe you know how to do this.  But, I don’t.  I mean I’m OK at videoing the older horses but the babies – forgedaboudit.

Usually it goes something like this:

OK, Wrig, we need to take a video of you today.  I’m just going to quick brush you… Put down the brush!  OK, now HOLYCRAP what happened to your mane?  Who bit you?!  Here, let me put some shoe polish over that… OK, good now, ARE YOU BLEEDING? OH, no, I see, it is just flymask fuzz.  Whew, OK, now look really pretty for Mommy, OK?  Now stand and, no stand, STAND, STAAAAAAAND STILL NOW!   Oh nevermind, we’ll just do some trotting stuff.  Come to the arena… Quit rubbing against me… C’mon, let’s get your halter on and COME HERE!  Walk with me.  Up here.  Now!  You’re alright… HEY SLOW DOWN.  Stop and Baaaaaack right now.  OK good.  Now walk.  WALK.  WAAAAAALLLK!

Fine.  Just go into the arena and …  waaaiiiiittttt, save that!  I’m not filming yet!  Stop.  No, go! But, wait till I get my camera (massive hurrying and scurrying to find the video toggle..) OK, now TROT.  No, over here.  Here.  Hey, stop that and trot.  T -R -O -T.  C’MON NOW.  Quit sniffing that. Move up here and trot, please.  No, not away from me, come towards Mommy.  (He picks up whip, rustles it, scares himself, steps on whip and breaks it in half…) OKOK, CALM DOWN!  Just put it DOWN. TROT! Now trot.  This way! No, don’t stop at the fence, come back towards me but pass me and look really good, OK? Get away from the camera!  Baaack!!  NO!  OH, my bad.. I didn’t mean to slap you, I was just falling backwards when you grabbed the lens… now, don’t put your head down… soft eyes… C’mon, Mommy didn’t mean it… come back (sniff… as I start to cry softly).  Puleeeeze…  There’s a carrot in this for you…

OY.

In the end, I had a camera full of arena footing, sweat pouring into my eyeballs, a very confused  horse and no video.  Sound familiar?  So I wrote this little ditty…

ODE TO THE SOLO EQUINE VIDEOGRAPHER

He prances around when the camera is off

He’s so gorgeous in the field with his springy piaffe

He loves to parade and strut in front of others

He’d do this all day if he had his druthers…

But pull out the camera and what do you get?

A boy who’s afraid to take one little step

He’ll hug on the fences or string himself out

He’ll trot like a camel or stand there and pout

You put down the camera to help him stand right

He fusses and squiggles and puts up a fight

You tell him to “quit!” and back you go…

Right about then he puts his head low

What is that thing in your hand- that lil’ box?

He rushes right over and messes his locks

His nose in the camera his feet atop yours

He pushes and wonders while your anger soars

You pick up the whip and fling it around

He runs away madly not to be found

His nose against a pile, his buttock in frame

Oh why did I ever say I’d play this game?

“Why can’t you help Mommy,” I turn and hiss

He delights, strikes a pose that I totally miss

I dust off the camera and wipe my brow

Only to have him perform a perfect bow

I quick turn on the camera and hope he’ll be good

Alas, he stands downhill, like I knew he would

So forget trying to do this all by yourself

Because horsie knows better

And he ain’t gonna help…

(the end.)

OK, silly, I know but I felt better after scribbling it.

Why was I trying to video my young horse?  Well, now I get to brag.  Thanks for asking!

MOMMY BRAG

I don’t breed anymore for many reasons.  The foremost being that there are too many great horses that need homes.  But, I still have two show horses left.  The one I’m bragging about is Bellorazzo.  Last week, in his second show ever, he won his Open Park Harness division (with Forest) at Regionals which qualifies him for the World Championships.  Yahooo!  Here is his photo.

So, when you have one that is already trained and doing very well, people inquire about him.  And, sometimes they ask, “Well, do you have a cheaper version at home?”  Ummmm.  Yes…

I bet that means you are going to ask me for a video, right?

HORSE AND MAN is a blog in growth… if you like this, please pass it around!
If you want an update on the Iron Man Rescued Foal Bucket Fund or to donate, please click on the photo (photo credit, Trish Lowe)


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Leslie Anne Webb: A Legal Insider Tip… with a $4500 prize!!






Trio

THIS DRAWING IS NOW OVER, BUT PLEASE ENJOY THE POST ANYWAY…

You know how when you contemplate buying a lottery ticket you say to yourself, “Hmmmmm, I know the odds are against me but … I’m gonna do it anyway! (you say the last part really fast!)”  Or, on the flip side,  “I might as well burn this dollar as buy a lottery ticket…”

How ever you feel about the lottery, you know that the odds are basically against you winning.

Well, I have a hot tip on something wonderful that you could win…  The oddsmakers are with us on this one!   No one knows about this contest and therefore no one has submitted their names….   (I feel like a bookie.)

Charlie Blue Eyes

Ay  Chi hua hua!   Readers, I want one of you to WIN this!  If you do win, please please please let me know and I’ll write a whole post devoted to your story and your final prize!  OK, here goes…

LESLIE ANNE WEBB

Remember how I told you that famous artist, Leslie Anne Webb, has a drawing going on right now in which someone will win one of her ORIGINAL painting of their choice (here is the former post link).  Well, there are only a few days left and I know that there are hardly any names in the hat…

ON THE SWEET AND LOW

Big Butt

Well, I know Leslie’s work, but the only reason I have actually met her in the flesh is because she just so happens to live in the same small town where I live.  And, I happen to ride where she rides and I occasionally end up in the same room with her.  On one of these occasions recently, we were all chatting,  and she told us in an offhanded way that she has been so busy with her summer shows that she has spent no time promoting this drawing.

Hmmmmm.  My mind started whirring… a contest with no contestants?

Lend Me an Ear

I asked her what that meant… She said that there are hardly any names in the fishbowl.  WHA?!  Hardly any names?  Yup.  Very few people know about the contest.  Leslie has been too busy to pay any attention to promoting it. And, the contest is almost over (June 30th).   Hmmmmmm.  Let me do the math here…  Are there 10 names?  Are there 20 names?  Are there 3 names?  I have no idea.  I didn’t ask… but she indicated jovially that the lack of names in the jar was her fault due to her lack of free time and silly negligence.   “Uhhhhh,

Goofball

should you be telling me this?”   Leslie didn’t care.  She was just talking…  She was saying that picking out a name would be really easy at this rate and maybe she should dump the meager contents of the biggish fishbowl into a littlish soapdish.  Huh?!!

Wahoo!  The odds are looking really good!  I mean, the contest is happening and it WILL have a winner.  With those odds, it could be YOU.  What an opportunity!  I had to tell you readers!  (I did ask Leslie if I could spread the word and she was delighted for me to do the work….)  So, let’s go for it!

THERE ARE HARDLY ANY NAMES IN THE HAT AND YOU COULD WIN A $4500 PAINTING!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

RAFFLES AND CONTESTS ARE FUN!

Jerry

I mean, consider the jelly bean counting contest at the State Fair.  We all think we have a chance to win that.  Millions of people buy a lottery ticket when they are fairly certain that they won’t win.  I know that I buy raffle tickets/charity tickets/hot dog tickets/car wash tickets mostly every time one comes around.  And for all the aforementioned purchases, we have no idea of the odds.  We do it because it feels good, its fun and because we all like the “lucky” feeling of being chosen.  “I won!  I never win anything!”  We are tickled pink with our prized T-shirt caught from the cannon (wrestled from the 4th grader in front of you) at the local Triple A baseball game – yet we might not purchase the same T-shirt.

Kindred Sprits

I know.  I’m with you.  I still cherish the goofy over-sized sponge finger I won at the Giants’ Game…

But, what if you could win something huge, fabulous and unbelievable – easily?!   (Now I sound like an infomercial.)  I mean, wouldn’t it be fun to win easily instead of trying to turn up the corner on your ticket or trying to gauge exactly when to drop your ticket into the raffle box to make sure it is on top… you know what I mean…  There are no sure-things but what if the odds were against the house —  and for the player?!

INCREDIBLE ODDS

Baby

For me, I feel compelled to drive all the way to Costco (gas money…) in order to get more than I really need for more than I really wanted to spend.  Translated that means that I do get good deals, no question.  But, I spend more because I’m there, I use more gas hauling my load home, I have to open a recycling center to store all of the cardboard packaging that surrounded my goods and then I have to justify to myself why I just spent way more than I anticipated…  I do this once a month.  Those odds aren’t so good.  In fact, they are really bad but I do it because I like the experience, in a twisted way.  Costco makes me feel like I’m winning.

Cloud in the Sky

For Leslie’s contest, the odds are VERY GOOD to begin with!  Way better than most contests (or a Costco visit) and besides, you actually get a great item just for entering – not just a ticket.  And on top of that great item, if you win the contest, the prize is quite wonderful and significant!

Now, I’m not saying that the saddle you bid on every year isn’t a good prize.  It is.  And, I’m not saying the stuff you buy for charity isn’t a good cause.  It is.  What I’m saying is that you get potentially three wins with this contest.  You get a signed print of your choice for your investment, you may very well win, and you are also supporting equine charities indirectly because Leslie donates several paintings to Equine causes annually.  She donates a lot.  A lot.  Here is a link to her current donations and here is a link about her philanthropy.

EASY

The Blues Brothers

OK, here is how to get into this contest (now I really sound like a bookie!).

For anyone to get their name into the soapdish, you purchase one of Leslie’s signed and faboo prints ( small =$98).   If you purchase a small print your name goes in once.  If you purchase a large print ($300), your name goes in three times. Easy.

The winner will receive an Original Leslie Anne Webb painting of their choice ($4500) or an original to be created of the winner’s fav pet.

STEP BY STEP

1)  Go to the website’s store and shop for the print you like (click here).

The Guardian Angel

2)  Once on the page, to browse the prints, you can choose the color background you like (ie: click here for “shades of blue and green” background)

3)  Once in the background color screen, click on the first box which will say “Giclee Prints” (ie: click here for giclee prints in shades of blue and green)

4)  Browse and click on the one you want in the size you want!

5)  Leslie will SIGN the print and sent it off to you!

The Sweetest Thing

6)  Leslie will put your name in the soapdish!  Done.  Easy!

MY PERSONAL FAVS

I’m not having Leslie put my name in the hat because it would be weird if I’ve told you all about this contest twice and then I end up winning… That could be misconstrued.  (Even though, I am quite tempted!)  However, I did have a lot of fun picking out the prints that I would purchase.  And,

Oscar Kisses

I’ve been contemplating which photo of my Aladdin to give to her if I was to win…  Maybe you should start playing around with your photos, eh?

OK, here are my favs…

1)  The Guardian Angel: “Everyone has their own Guardian Angel.”

I love this one because the horses’ expressions are exactly how they are in a close knit group.  So perfect.

2)  The Sweetest Thing: “The sweetest thing in life is to love and be loved in return.”

I love this because the tenderness shines through.

3)  Oscar Kisses: “Kisses, anyone?”

I love this because I love when my horses give me the kissy-face!

GOOD LUCK, EVERYONE!!

HORSE AND MAN is a blog in growth… if you like this, please pass it around!
If you want an update on the Iron Man Rescued Foal Bucket Fund or to donate, please click on the photo (photo credit, Trish Lowe)


Riding Warehouse
Your purchase with Riding Warehouse through this link helps the Bucket Fund!


Supporting The Bucket Fund through Amazon Smile
Please choose HORSE AND MAN, INC when you shop via Amazon Smile through this link.



HORSE AND MAN is a blog in growth... if you like this, please pass it around!